


You put your arms around me and I am home

by Lavanyaa



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cuddles, Fluff, Love, M/M, happiness, i still suck at tagging, married, soft, the spark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-03-07 13:25:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18874084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavanyaa/pseuds/Lavanyaa
Summary: Magnus still couldn't believe it was true. That he get love Alexander Lightwood. That he get to marry him. That he was worth of being his husband. That he get to share the Lightwood name for the rest of his life.Magnus had lived during centuries. But he had never felt this way before.Happy.Content.So wholeheartedly loved.And with Alexander's name tied to his, forever, he felt belonged.Complete.





	1. You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Happy reading <3

**‘‘ _There is no better feeling than feeling loved._**

**_By you.’’_ **

 

  


The sun was shining outside, rays of sunshine making their way in into their bedroom by the windows, soaking both of their skin with its warmth.

Magnus had been awake for a few minutes. Last night, sleep hadn't come easily. After spending the night with Alexander, his Alexander, he had spent hours awake, convincing his mind, and himself that this was real. That he was really back from Edom, and that he was safe in his own apartment. So much had happened during these past days. And a part of him still believed that this was a silly dream, and soon, he would wake up in Edom, surrounded by nothing but darkness and demons.

But this was real.

He was back. He got his magic back. His immortality back. His home back. And he got Alexander back. Alexander got him back.

When he had left for Edom, Magnus had really thought he would never see his love and his friends again. That he would spend years and years in that demonic dimension, with nothing but demons for company. He had thought that no one would come for him. That he would be trapped there for eternity. But deep down, he had hoped that Alexander would find him, even if his mind kept whispering that Alec wouldn't risk. Oh, how he had been wrong.

What he had felt that moment, looking up into the portal, inevitably condemning himself to Hell, was beyond terror. He had never been so frightened. Even thinking about going back to that place used to give him nightmares, and the fact that he had to go willingly… He would do it again in a heartbeat if he had to, of course he would. But it didn't make it any less terrifying and easier.

Saying goodbye to Alec, again, had been the hardest part. Especially after finding out what happened the day before. When Alec had broken up with him, nothing made sense anymore, everything around him had been blurry and confusing and so… lonely. He had been heartbroken before, and left alone, people broke up with him during those past centuries, but this heartbreak had been the most painful one. And the reason was simple : because Alexander was different. Of course, every person Magnus had fell in love with were different. But Alexander, he was _different_.

Having to watch Alec walk away from him, had been the most difficult thing that he had done. Even thinking about how that day had impacted him, hurted him, made his heart ache.    
  


He had been in such a bad place, both mentally and emotionally, and it had driven him toward the person he had spent centuries avoiding, and ignoring. Asmodeus. Then, things had only gotten worse, Jonathan attacked Alicante, and Magnus had to leave to Edom in order to save and protect the people he cared about.

But not before getting engaged to Alexander.

When he had found out from Maryse, that Alexander had planned to propose to him during the dinner, Magnus had felt multiple emotions : shock, happiness, anger, then peace. Finding out that even when he had been in his lowest, Alec had still wanted him in his life … it had made Magnus realize that, not only Alec will always love him, ,no matter what, but that Magnus didn’t have to listen to the voices in his head anymore, constantly, whispering to him, that one day he would push Alec away.

Because everything that Alec had done, from the beginning, was to keep Magnus happy.

 

And now, Magnus was the happiest. He was engaged to Alec Lightwood. And he was going to marry him. He was going to marry a Shadowhunter. The person he loved in a way that he had never loved anyone before.

 

And the most wonderful thing was, Alexander wanted to marry him too.

 

Magnus had always been a traditional guy. Especially when it came to raising a family. He had always wanted to have his own family, even if he had multiple ones in the Downworld already. He had always wanted to get married, have children, and fond a family with someone. Magnus had always been a traditional guy, but also a romantic one. Deep down, for years, he had hoped to find the person which would love him endlessly, and unconditionally, as much as Magnus would love him back. Magnus had always loved people with his whole being, putting his heart out there, in the hope that one day it would find the person it belonged too. His heart had been broken, cracked open, shredded to pieces, and stumped upon over and over again. By the end of it, his heart had gone over thousands of heartbreaks, disappointments, and inexplicable pain. But the saddest thing was that Magnus had put himself out there, vulnerable and hopeful, only to get heartbroken.

 

Over the centuries, heartbreaks after heartbreaks, Magnus had started to believe, and even came to terms with the fact that maybe, he wasn’t made for this. That anyone would think he was too much to handle. For years Magnus had thought that. Then, he had lost hope. Not only for a family, but for love too. He had convinced himself that he would never find the one. Especially when he was an immortal.

 

Who would want to spend their eternity with him, when he couldn’t even give that person the promise of his own forever?

  
He had hoped, and hoped, and with time he had come to peace with the fact that maybe, his wishes were doomed to be only that : a wish.

 

Then he met Alexander Lightwood.

 

Magnus had loved hundreds of people before, and he had been loved back in so many different ways, but none of them had loved him the way Alec did. None of them made him feel like he truly belong with them. Alexander did. With Alec, every single second was filled with happiness, and love. And he loved him so much.

And for once, he truly felt like Alec loved all of him : his past, his scars, his fears, his demon blood, his warlock mark … Magnus had never felt this loved and wanted.

 

With his past lovers, he had been so careful to not to show his most vulnerable side of him : his nature, and his past. Some of them were interested by his stories, and immediately ignored it, as if Magnus had never told them about it. Some of them had left him, thinking that he would bring bad luck. And some of them had looked at him with fear and horror, and it had only got him to close himself from people even more than he already was.

 

But with Alexander, he wanted to be vulnerable in front of him. He wanted Alec to see his scars, and fears and he wanted him to hold him close and fix the broken pieces of his heart and soul which had been hurt over the centuries. And Alexander hadn't looked at him with fear, or horror, or disappointment … He had loved him. Every part of him. And Magnus had felt the difference. Everytime that Alec would look at him, his whole being would glow with an unusual warmth and happiness that he had never felt before. He had felt his walls, which had been guarding his broken heart, falling down, the second their eyes met. Then he had felt the pieces of heart get back together with every touch of love from Alexander, with his every words, his every look, with his eyes filled with care and love. Alexander's love had changed him, healed him, but most importantly, Alexander had brought hope into his life again.

 

When Alec had barged into the throne room in Edom, and had said that he would rather stay with him there, instead of leaving him again, at first, Magnus was stunned. But then, he had smiled. Because he really shouldn’t have been surprised. Because this was Alexander.

 

But Magnus always got surprised whenever Alec showed how much he loves him.

 

And after the shock, realization came. The realization that, Alec wasn’t leaving him. That he wouldn't leave him. During their relationship there had been this constant fear that Magnus would do something that would make Alec walk away from him. But nothing of that sort had happened. The break up had only happened because Asmodeus manipulated Alec. Magnus didn’t know that before and his mind had been torturing him, voices whispering in his head that he had never deserved Alexander’s love or care.

 

But last night, Alexander had made sure that Magnus knew how much he loved him. And Magnus had let him known just as much he loved Alec back.

 

_**‘‘Please don’t doubt my love for you,** _

_**it’s the only thing I’m sure of.’’** _


	2. When love is real, it finds a way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 to 4 are gonna be flashbacks, so in Italic, and the chapter 5 we will be back to the present time. 
> 
> Happy reading !

‘‘ **It was always**

**you.’’**

 

_When they arrived at their appartement, both of them were exhausted. After Jonathan had been killed, members of the Clave came to the Institute asking for explanations. It had taken an hour for convince them that the war was finally over and everyone was now safe. But then, they noticed Magnus standing in the middle of the Institute, and it took Alec another hour to explain everything to the Clave. How Magnus had helped them and how he had managed to save the whole city of Alicante. The members of the Clave left, telling Alec that they would report this behavior of his to the Consul. Alec had rolled his eyes at them, refraining himself from telling exactly what he would say to the Consul._

 

_Then they had left the Institute, Magnus made a portal and they had walked into the loft. When the portal closed behind them, Magnus lost no time to go over his couch and fall on top of it, releasing a big sigh. Alec was standing in the middle of the loft, a little away from Magnus, but looking down on Magnus, with a small smile on his lips._

 

_''I even smell like Edom.'' whispered Magnus, his head falling back on the couch, eyes closed, and pouting a little._

 

_Before Alec could say a sentence, Magnus raised his hand and snapped his fingers and the next second tiny sparks came out from his fingers, and Magnus’ clothes changed. His shoes disappeared, and was wearing his slippers, his pants and his shirts disappeared and he was now wearing his blue robe that he usually wears when he went to sleep._

 

_A few minutes of silence passed, before Magnus opened his eyes again, to see Alec, still standing in front of him, his head down, and shoulders slumped. He was looking down and he was fidgeting with his fingers, playing with his wedding ring. Magnus could easily tell that he was under some kind of pressure._

 

‘‘ _Alexander ? Are you okay ?’’ asked Magnus, slowly backing away from the couch but still sitting on it._

 

_Magnus saw Alec shake his head, still looking down, and he looked up. Magnus noticed the deep sadness, filled with unshed tears in his eyes. Before Magnus could ask what was wrong, Alec spoke._

 

‘‘ _I am not the one who you should be worried about right now. You just spend hours in Edom.’’ whispered Alec, still looking at Magnus._

 

‘ _I am always going to worry about you Alexander’’ said Magnus, with a little but sad smile. Then he patted the empty place on the couch next to him, and looked up at Alec, who, was first hesitant, but then made his way towards him._

 

_As soon as Alec sat down next to him, Magnus joined their hands together, and smiled a little more when Alec held tightly his hand in his. Taking a deep breath, and closing his eyes for a few moments, Magnus moved his head to the side, placing his head on the side of Alec’s arm._

 

_They spend a few minutes in complete silence. With Magnus just feeling lucky and grateful to be back from Edom, and Alec … well Alec had hundreds of thoughts running wild in his mind and he didn’t like it a bit. So tightening his grip on Magnus’ hand, and stroking the back of Magnus’ hand with his thumb, he spoke up._

 

‘‘ _I am sorry...’’ whispered Alec, still not looking at Magnus in the eyes._

 

‘‘ _Alexander… Why are you apologizing ?’’ asked Magnus, confused, moving his head away from Alec’s arm, to look at him, but Alec turned his head away._

 

‘‘ _I never should have let you go to that place’’ answered Alec, shutting his eyes, preventing the tears from falling._

 

‘‘ _Alec… It was my choice’’ answered Magnus, looking at Alec who still refused to look at him. Biting his lips, and sighing, Magnus brought one of his hands up, and took Alec’s face between his palm, so they could look at each other. One tear fell down on Alec’s cheek, and Magnus’ heart broke. He used his thumb to wipe it away, and kept caressing Alec’s cheek with one hand, while the other kept holding Alec’s hand._

 

_Alec was still refusing to look at him._

 

‘‘ _Hey’’ whispered Magnus, tilting his head to the side, ‘‘look at me, Alexander’’ whispered Magnus, both of his hands still in contact with Alec, as if they were the only things which were stopping Alec from completely breaking down. ‘‘Please ?’’ asked Magnus, with a soft and small voice, hoping that it would do the work. And it did._

 

_Alec looked up, his eyes were tearing up, and another lonely tear fell down on his cheek, which Magnus wiped away._

 

‘‘ _Hey’’ said Magnus, again, smiling at Alec, and Magnus’ heart skipped a beat when Alec smiled back at him, and whispered,_

 

‘‘ _Hi’’_

 

 

_Then, he sniffled, and moved his other hand to take Magnus’ hand in his hold, the one which was holding his face, and he brought it down on his lap. Holding both of Magnus’ hands in his now, he brought one up and kissed the back of his hand. Bringing their hands back on his lap, their fingers interwitned together, he looked up at Magnus, who was already smiling gently at him._

 

‘‘ _Are you okay ?’’ asked Alec, with his voice filled with concern and care._

 

‘‘ _You don’t have to worry about me. I am alright.’’ said Magnus, still smiling at him, but Alec saw through it. He always did._

 

_Magnus was maybe smiling, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes, his eyes didn’t shine with the usual happiness they did whenever he had a smile on his face. For others, it may seem like a real smile, but Alec knew it : Magnus’ smile was forced._

 

‘‘ _I know when you lie to me Magnus, especially when you say you’re fine, while you’re not.’’ said Alec, looking at Magnus with his eyebrows raised, and Magnus smiled tightly, and took a long breathe before speaking._

 

‘‘ _It’s nothing… It’s just… ’’ started Magnus, but refused to continue, not knowing how to put his thoughts into words._

 

‘‘ _What is it ?’’ asked Alec, holding both of Magnus’ hands in his, and holding them gently, caressing his fingers, and the back of his hands._

 

‘‘ _I thought I would never see you again’’ said Magnus,with a small voice, and Alec’s breath stuttered. He took a few breaths to focuse, and looked into Magnus’ eyes wich were reflecting the pain and fear he had been feeling for the past few hours._

 

_Alec kept silence, and just listened. He didn’t know what to say, and felt like Magnus wanted to say more, so he let him. And as expected, Magnus kept talking._

 

‘‘ _Going back to that place… The place that I have been running away from all my life… It wasn’t easy. Every corner of Edom reminded me of my times with my Father there and … everything I had done under his care kept replaying in my mind, and I just couldn’t stop it’’_

 

_Magnus’ grip on Alec’s hands grew tighter, but Alec didn’t complain, he only gripped back as tight as he could, reminding Magnus that he wasn’t in Edom anymore, that he was now safe, back with his loved ones._

 

‘‘ _I was terrified, but the thought of not seeing you again, ever again … it just made everything worse.’’ said Magnus, closing his eyes, his voice so low, just above a whisper that Alec had to move a little forward to hear it._

 

‘’ _Magnus, I am here now, with you, and you’re here, not in Edom.’’ said Alec, his voice soft, yet firm, trying to reassure Magnus that they were together and they were safe._

 

_Alec saw Magnus’ breathing quickening, and he immediately moved his hand towards, to place his palm on Magnus’ cheek. His thumb caressed Magnus’ tender skin, and he saw Magnus’ posture relax at his touch. But his eyes were still closed._

 

‘‘ _Magnus, look at me’’ said Alec, his voice kind and filled with love._

 

_Magnus slowly opened his eyes, and stared at Alec, biting his lips, then looking down immediately. He moved one of his hands upwards, and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, and laughed, but Alec knew what kind of laughter it was._

 

‘‘ _I am sorry, I-’’ started Magnus, but Alec interrupted him._

 

‘‘ _Hey, no, none of that.’’ said Alec, with a smile and lifted Magnus’ chin with his fingers, so he could look at him. ‘‘Don’t apologize, you’ve got nothing to apologize for, okay ?’’ stated Alec, but Magnus only shook his head._

 

‘‘ _No, it’s nothing, I am fine, you-’’_

 

‘‘ _Magnus’’ said Alec, interrupting again, and this time it caught Magnus’ attention. He looked back at Alec, with wide eyes, and Alec saw him swallow forcefully. So he moved forward a little, and held Magnus’ face in both of his palms, and Magnus immediately sighed, as if all his tensions disappeared, then a tear fell down, rolling down on his cheek._

 

_Alec used his thumb to wipe the tear away, and kept caressing Magnus’ cheeks with his fingers._

 

‘‘ _You’re never, ever, going back to that place, okay ? I promise you.’’ said Alec, with as much confidence as he could._

 

 _Magnus only nodded, and closed his eyes again, and as soon as Alec saw Magnus’ body move forward, he moved his own and the next second, they were both in each others’ arms. One of Alec’s hand went to Magnus’ back, tracing circles on his robe, trying to calm Magnus’ sobs, and the other one moved at the back of Magnus’ head, ruffling his hair to offer him some type of confort and an anchor. And Magnus was holding him back_ as _if he was his life-line, as if he was the only person keeping him from falling down. Magnus’ nails were digging in his skin by how much he was clutching at him, but Alec didn’t care, he only held him in his arms. He could hear Magnus’ quick breathing, his breaths stuttering with every sobs coming out of him. Alec pushed away his own tear back, by blinking his eyes repeatedly and focused on Magnus._

 

_He kept whispering conforting and tender words into Magnus’ ear, reassuring and promising that everything was okay now, that he was with him now, and he would never leave him again. With every word, Magnus’ cries only got stronger, the shakiness of his shoulders only intensifying. And all Alec could do was to hold him back with as much strength as he could._

 

_Magnus’ body was flushed against his own, every part of their skin were touching, with no distance between the two of them. It was as if both of their bodies were trying to become one. As if Magnus’ was trying to get lost into Alec’s arms and warmth to escape his fears and nightmares. And Alec’s body and arms were both welcoming and open to envelop Magnus, trying to offer him all the love, safety, confort, support and care that he needed, that he deserved._

 

_So Alec held him. Putting his love and worry into words, by whispering them in his ears, his hands never stopping caressing Magnus' back and ruffling his hair. Every sobs that Magnus let out pierced through Alec's heart and broke him a little more. He had never been able to see Magnus in pain. That feeling of being desperate and useless to offer him anything but his presence used to frustate Alec. And it still did. But it was better than nothing._

 

_Magnus' whole body was shaking like a leaf and Alec couldn't do anything but to hold him, trying to put the broken pieces together as they fell apart from Magnus._

 

_They had been holding each other like this for a few minutes, Alec's bones were aching because of how unconfortably they were sitting on the couch, but neither of them moved away._

_After a few minutes of conforting words and caresses filled with care and gentleness, Magnus slowly came back to himself, his cries and trembling ceased and he just held onto Alec. His face was resting, hidden, in the crook of Alec's neck, his fingers digging into Alec's back, his chest pressed again Alec's._

 

_A few minutes of silence followed, where both of them were getting the confort and safety in each other's arms, each other's presence calming the other._

 

_''You feel better ?'' asked Alec, his voice muffled against Magnus' hair, and felt Magnus nod._

 

_''I am okay now'' replied Magnus, his face still hidden between Alec's neck and shoulder._

 

_''Talk to me, Magnus, just … I'm here, okay ?'' said Alec, resting his chin at the top of Magnus' head, both of his hands on Magnus' back now._

 

_''Going back to that place... made me relieve all the memories of the moments I had spent with my Father, under his orders, it was like suffocating from the inside, with all the nightmares running wild right in front of my eyes'' said Magnus, and felt Alec's hands grip him tighter, felt his fears leaving him, one by one, as the words spilled out from his mouth._

 

_''The only thought that kept me sane was that you were safe, and unharmed, but at the same time, it was the same thought that made me feel like I lost all will to live... I didn't know you would come to Edom to save me.''_

 

_''Did you doubt it ?'' blurted out Alec, without even thinking, the words out of his mouth before he could even think about stopping them._

 

_A few seconds of silence followed before Magnus spoke again._

 

_''I never doubted your love. I know you love me. I do. It's just... All my life, heartbreaks after heartbreaks, it made me … lose my hope that one day I would find the person I would belong to, you know. And when we met, after I got to know you... everything around me made me feel like I have finally found the person that I have been looking for my entire life. I knew that there was nothing I wouldn't for you. And for a time, it absolutely terrified me. Deep down, there was always a part of me that kept wondering when the time where I would mess something up would come, and then you would leave. When I was tortured by Valentine, you were there to pick up the pieces of my mind. You held me in your arms as I bared my heart out to you, about my past. And when I lost my magic, you were still there. You never left but then...''_

 

_''Then, I broke your heart'' whispered Alec, his heart breaking, his breathe stuttering._

 

_In response, Magnus only held on tighter at Alec, and Alec desperatly tried to keep his tears away._

 

_''I am so sorry, Magnus-''_

 

_''No.'' interrupted Magnus, and the next moment, he moved away, to face Alec. His tears were dry, his voice hoarse, and yet, he moved his hands from Alec's back to hold his face between his hands. Alec was feeling like he could break down in any second, and it only made Magnus' heart bleed a little more._

 

_''Alexander... Listen to me.'' said Magnus, with a firm voice, and Alec's hazel eyes found his._

 

_''What you did... Yes, it hurted me. But I didn't know why you did it. And I know it now. Okay ? I do, I really do. All you have wanted for me was to be happy, to find my magic back so I could feel whole again. It's okay Alec-''_

 

_But before Magnus could finish his sentence, Alec started shaking his head and muttering,_

 

_''No, no it wasn't okay, it wasn't-''_

 

_''Alec. Let me finish, please ?'' asked Magnus, looking at Alec with a little smile, because he needed to get his words out. Because Alec needed to know. He needed to know. Magnus should have told Alec all about his feelings since he had found out about it, but he had been so scared that it would have been so soon, that it would scare Alec away. But Magnus couldn't waste any more time now. He needed to let Alec know._

 

‘‘ _ **I wish I could show you how**_

_**much I care for you, how much** _

_**you mean to me, how much I** _

_**love you. Above all I wish I** _

_**could show you how you’ve** _

_**changed my life and how you** _

_**make me a better person. But I** _

_**can’t and I am so sorry about** _

_**that. Because feelings are** _

_**feelings … and I can’t handle them.’’** _

 


	3. After all, soulmates always end up together

‘‘ _ **If I could give you one**_

_**thing in life,** _

_**I would give you the** _

_**ability to see yourself** _

_**through my eyes,** _

_**only then would you** _

_**realize how special** _

_**you are to me.’’** _

 

 

_''When I told you that day, that what I was feeling at that time may never pass, for as long as I live, I didn't mean to give you the impression that you didn't make me happy. You did. God, you did, so much. But when I lost my magic … I felt like everything had changed, like I wasn't the same person anymore, because I wasn't. Losing something that had been your second skin all these centuries, it was loke losing my identity. I lost my job, my home, and my magic … and you were just there. And I was waiting for the moment you'd walk away from me after realizing that I wasn't the same person you fell in love with, but instead you... You supported me, you held me in your arms as every part of me was hurting, and somehow, for a second, I felt like I could get through that pain, as long as I had you by my side. Because I can lose everything Alexander, I can lose every part of myself, I can lose myself, and I would still be standing because I'd have you to hold me from falling._

_I can lose myself, but I can't lose you, Alexander. Because losing you would destroy me in the worst ways possible.’’_

 

‘‘ _Magnus, you don’t need to-’’ tried to interrupt Alec, because he knew that this was a painful topic for Magnus. Tears reappeared again behind his eyelids, and Alec could feel Magnus’ hands trembling in his grasp._

 

‘‘ _No, just … Let me say it okay ? I have to say it.’’ replied Magnus, looking at Alec with shining, yet pleading eyes, and Alec silentely nodded._

 

‘‘ _After losing my magic, the very knowledge that you were still by my side conforted me and terrified me at the same time. But I think … I know that I would have been okay, because you’d be here to take care of me. And you did. And when you broke up with me-’’_

 

_Magnus paused when he heard Alec’s breath stutter, but only held his hands, gently, in his own, before continuing._

 

‘‘ _And when you broke up with me, the things you said to me, for a moment I believed them. Until your mother told me what happened. I realized that, not only you broke my heart, but you destroyed yours by thinking I would be happy with finding my magic back, and losing you. But Alexander … That isn’t the truth.’’_

 

‘‘ _Magnus-’’ started Alec, not even knowing why he didn’t want Magnus to speak the next words, maybe because he didn’t want to hear them. Or maybe because he did, but he wouldn’t able to believe them._

 

‘‘ _You-’’ Magnus paused, emotions making his words stuck in his throat. He had never been good with communicating his feelings, especially meaningfull ones, and with Alexander, it was something he had never done, but it was something he wanted to it. He wanted to pour his heart out to him, tell him how he really felt about him. How much he loved him, he wanted Alec to know how much he loved him._

 

‘‘ _If I gave you the impression that I would be happy with gaining my magic back, but at the price of losing you, you were wrong Alec. Because I wouldn’t have been. I never could be. Because you were, and you always are the only thing holding me back from completely giving up whenever I feel like the whole world is falling apart around me. I … I would rather have you by my side, and live as a mundane, because you would have given me the strenght to go through it every day. That is what I realized when you walked away from me that day. Losing you, even if it was only for one day, made me realize that I can’t lose you Alexander, I-’’_

 

‘‘ _Magnus, stop, it’s okay-’’_

 

‘‘ _No ! It’s not okay !’’ exclaimed Magnus, raising his voice, looking at Alec with big, wide, teary eyes, and Alec felt his heart break once again. Magnus was looking at him with so much pain and terror and Alec didn’t even know how to confort him. And before he could say anything else, Magnus carried on, frantic, and started to speak quickly, grabbing his hands with so much strenght that Alec suspected it may leave some bruises._

 

‘‘ _You, thinking that losing wouldn’t destroy my heart completely is not okay ! You, thinking that I could have recovered from that loss is not okay. Because I love you Alexander. And I need you to know, I need you to know that… If I had to choose between my magic and you, I would choose you over and over again, because I can’t live without, I don’t know how to. And I should have told you earlier how much you mean to me, i don’t why I didn’t, but you have to understand Alexander, you have to-’’_

 

‘‘ _Magnus, Magnus, breathe’’ said Alec, looking at Magnus worriedly as his breathing quickened, and fresh tears roll down on his cheeks. Alec wiped the tears away, and held Maggnus’ face between his hands, Magnus closed his eyes, clasping his hands together as his fingers pressed against his knuckles._

 

‘‘ _You have to know, you have to know...’’ kept whispering Magnus, looking at Alec with pleading eyes, and a heartbreaking expression. Tears shimmering in his eyes, they were also filled with desperation and utter honesty and sadness._

 

‘‘ _Magnus, I know, it’s-’’_

 

‘‘ _No, you don’t...’’ answered Magnus, his voice barely a whisper, as he looked at Alec, then he shut down his eyes and re-opened them again, and this time Alec noticed a glint of determination._

 

‘‘ _I know you don’t believe it right now… But it’s the truth. I have never loved anyone like I love you, Alexander. And I have never felt this loved and wanted in my whole life, as much as I do when I am with you. I love you, Alexander, and I will never stop loving you. I never thought one day that I would find someone to love this way, but I did, I found you. Loving you, it’s consuming. You make me the happiest I have ever been. And I need you to know there is no universe I would choose to let you go. Because letting you go would be giving up on the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I will never stop saying this to you, because you have to know, you have to believe it, you have to,you-’’_

 

‘‘ _Hey, hey, Magnus, look at me.’’ hurried to interrupt Alec, his voice heavy and hoarse with all the emotions he was feeling. He was overwhelmed, grateful, honored, and so many more things at the same time, it made it heart warm, and body shake with happiness, but yet, a part of him was scared. He was scared by how much Magnus loved him. Not that he didn’t believe him, yet, because Magnus deserved so much more than he can give to him, but it terrified him, that one day, Magnus would have no choice but to live without him. Chasing that thought away from his mind, as quick as it appeared, Alec focused on Magnus. He was aware of his own tears falling from his eyes, but he couldn’t care, all he saw was Magnus._

 

_Magnus was looking at him with so much love and devotion, it made Alec’s breath stutter, he would never get used to how Magnus looked at him sometimes. His eyes were filled with tears, but there were also shining with love, admiration, determination and utter confidence. His make-up was ruined, and Alec still knew that Magnus couldn’t be more beautiful. His eyeliner and mascara were smudged around his eyes, because of his tears and how much he rubbed his knuckles against his eyes. And still, it took Alec’s breath away._

 

_Magnus was looking at him, waiting for what was Alec going to say. Then, Alec dropped one of his hands, while the other was still resting against Magnus’ cheek, to get hold of Magnus’ hand. He tangled their fingers together, and Magnus’ lips turned into a small smile as their hands touched._

 

_But Alec didn’t know what to say. What was he supposed to say ? He was feeling so much. He knew Magnus loved him. But he never realized, he never let himself hope to be more than another lover to him. And he hated to feel that way. But now… With everything that Magnus just told him, he was so much more than he thought he would be, for Magnus. And he didn’t know how to deal with that. It was … overwhelming, as if it was a dream. But it wasn’t a dream. This was real. Magnus just told him so. Then why did it feel harder to breathe ? Alec had always wanted to be special for Magnus, just as much as Magnus was for him. He was feeling unbelievanly happy, and relieved maybe. He couldn’t put his feelings and emotions into words, especially now, as Magnus just told him that he loved him in a way that he had never did before. It did something to Alec. It made his heart flutter in his chest, surrounded by a strange yet confortable warmth, as if it was being enveloped with Magnus’ own magic._

 

_Alec must have been quiet for a very long moment, because Magnus spoke again, and it brought Alec’s attention back to him._

 

‘‘ _I will always love you, Alexander. As long as I am alive, my heart will never stop beating for yours. Please don’t ever doubt that… ’’ whispered Magnus, with a soft voice, his eyes shining with unshed tears, and a small smile, and Alec couldn’t help but to see love, and sadness in them._

 

‘‘ _I don’t. Magnus, I swear I don’t.’’ answered Alec, his voice pleading, his heart aching for Magnus to believe him. Because Alec had never doubted Magnus. Not him, and not the love he had for him. He knew Magnus loved wholeheartedly, he cared about people with everything he had. And if he told Alec that he would love him forever, then of course, Alec would believe him. Not that he understood what he ever did to deserve to be loved by someone as kind, amazing, and wonderful as Magnus Bane. But, by the Angel, he was always going to be grateful for it. Magnus saved his liffe from being filled with darkness, and his heart from being cold as ice and hard as rock. Magnus saved him. And he could be only grateful that he had been able to save Magnus as well. They saved each other. They loved each other. They deserved each other. And Alec, would stop at absolutely nothing, to prove everyday from now, to Magnus, just exactly how much he loved him._

 

‘‘ _I believe you, I do’’ whispered Alec, and his hand held one of Magnus’, and his other hand caressed Magnus’ cheek with his thumb. Magnus was staring back at him, with his eyes shining and swimming with tears._

 

‘‘ _You do ?’’ asked Magnus, in a whisper, his eyes boring into Alec’s._

 

‘‘ _Yeah… I… I know that I have always thought about me being just another love of yours that you’ll get over one day, and I guess I didn’t realize how much me thinking like that hurted you. And if you tell me this is how you feel about me, then yes, of course I believe you, because I don’t doubt your love Magnus, I guess I just never thought I would be someone you would love this much-’’_

 

‘’ _You are, Alec. You are. And I am sorry if I ever gave you that impression, and made you believe that, I-’’_

 

‘‘ _No it’s not your fault-’’_

 

‘‘ _I should have told you sooner, I was just scared you’d think it’s too much-’’_

 

‘‘ _You’re never too much.’’ said Alec, the hold on Magnus’ tightening, and his other hand moving from Magnus’ cheek to rest at the back of his neck._

 

_Magnus bite his lips, stared at Alec with love and kindness and Alec smiled at him, making Magnus’ mouth curve into a smile, his eyes almost sparkling._

 

‘‘ _I love you, Alexander’’ said Magnus, closing his eyes, and still smiling._

 

_Alec moved forward, and kissed Magnus’ forehead, closing his own eyes to cherish their intimate moment. He felt Magnus’ hands grabbing his shirt and pulled him even closer. Alec moved his other hand to wrap his arm around Magnus’ waist. He moved back a little and brought their foreheads together._

 

‘‘ _I love you too’’ said Alec, opening his eyes to stare at Magnus, who was still keeping his eyes closed. But after hearing Alec’s words, Magnus opened his eyes and looked at Alec, and the sight greeting him made Alec gasp in wonder._

 

_Magnus was staring at him with his cat eyes. His eyes were shining in gold, and Alec felt his heart miss a beat when he noticed how much love and devotion Magnus’ gaze held._

 

 

‘‘ _ **I know I am not easy to love.**_

_**I am a chronic over – thinker,** _

_**I overreact more than I should …** _

_**And every once in a while,** _

_**I might be a little insecure.** _

_**But if I am in love with you,** _

_**I can promise you wholeheartedly** _

_**That you’ll be loved with** _

_**so muich passion and intensity** _

_**That you’ll forget what life** _

_**Felt like before I came along.** _

_**You will always be cared for** _

_**and you will always have** _

_**Someone in your corner.** _

_**Maybe I’m not the best** _

_**at being loved -** _

_**But I like to think I’m** _

_**pretty good at loving.’’** _

 


	4. I really believe that you are the greatest thing to ever happen to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Malec fluffiness ! 
> 
> This is the last part of the flash-back scene, next chapter, we will be back to present time.

 

‘‘ _ **The feeling of being curled up in your arms,**_

_**with our fingers interwined** _

_**and the soft feel of your** _

_**breath** _

_**on my neck can never be put** _

_**into words.** _

_**I can, however, tell you that it** _

_**is where I belong** _

_**and it is in those arms that I** _

_**feel at home.’’** _

 

 

 

‘‘ _Magnus...’’ whispered Alec, both of his hands moving to hold Magnus’ face between his palms, even before he knew what he was doing._

 

_Alec had always loved Magnus’ warlock mark. It was special, unique, and most importantly, beautiful. Golden eyes were staring at him, shining with endless love and utter kindness and hope. And it took Alec’s breath away. Just like everytime Magnus would look at him with his cat eyes. It was like staring right into Magnus’ soul. And Alec got lost into these golden eyes, everytime he stared into them._

 

_Magnus’ hands left Alec’s shirt, travelling down, to rest in the middle of Alec’s chest, where Magnus could feel Alec’s quickening heartbeat._

_He was still staring into Alec’s eyes, getting lost into his gaze, filled with love and adoration. It shook Magnus to the core. He had never thought that one day someone would look at him and love him the way Alexander Lightwood did. But the way Alec was looking at him … especially when his glamour was down, was something Magnus would never get used to._

 

_When Alec had first found out about his cat eyes, Magnus was worried that he would look at him with fear, but he had just stared at him with awe and love. And Magnus had never felt completely and utterly loved than that moment._

 

_Magnus closed his eyes as Alec moved forward, his head tilting upward, his heart fluttering and breath stuttering as he felt Alec’s lips kissing his eyelids. Magnus smiled, as a warm and comfortable feeling surrounded him. He felt like he was floating on a cloud. His mind was at ease, his thoughts at peace, his heart almost beating out of his chest from happiness and how loved he was feeling._

 

_Alec moved back and Magnus opened his eyes again, to see Alec already smiling back at him. Magnus moved one of his hands until it rested against Alec’s cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin. And Alec brought his hand up to place it against the back of Magnus’ hand, and tilted his head to the side to kiss Magnus’ palm._

 

‘‘ _I don’t ever want to be parted from you again’’ said Magnus, fear suddenly gripping his heart, but it was gone as quickly it came, when Alec dropped his hand to rest it on his waist, his fingers digging into his robe._

 

‘‘ _I won’t ever leave you again, Magnus. I’m staying with you. As long as I can, I promise’’ whispered Alec, his voice shaking with emotions, and heart fluttering in his chest, while his mind realized the weight of his promise. And Alec had every intentions to keep it. So what if he wasn’t immortal ? He would still love Magnus with his whole being. He would love every part of Magnus and would make sure to tell him and show him exactly how much Magnus means to him, every day._

 

_The thought that they were now engaged struck Alec, and he was left with happiness and shock clouding his mind. They were engaged. They were fiances. And there were going to get married. He was going to spend the rest of life at Magnus’ side. His whole body tingled with pure joy and excitement, but mostly with love. He was going to love Magnus for the rest of his life. He would never stop._

 

_They were going to get bloody married._

 

_Magnus must have noticed that he was deep in thoughts, because he moved one of his hand from his chest, to rest it against his cheek, his fingers trailing against his skin, making him come back to reality._

 

‘‘ _What are you thinking about ?’’ asked Magnus, whispering his words as if not to break the comfortable silence surrounding them._

 

_Alec blinked twice before focusing on Magnus. And without hesitation, he answered,_

 

‘‘ _Us.’’, making Magnus smile softly and kindly at him._

 

‘‘ _Care to share ?’’ asked Magnus, tilting his head to the side, staring at him with questionning, yet bright and piercing eyes that Alec felt himself drowning in them._

 

‘‘ _We are getting married’’ blurted out Alec, his eyes wide open as if he was realizing it for the first time, making Magnus smile even more than he already was._

 

‘‘ _Yes we are, Alexander’’ answered Magnus, his lips curved into a huge smile, and eyes radiating his whole happiness and amazement._

 

_Alec only laughed soflty, his smile widening so much that it started to hurt, but he didn’t care, his dream was finally coming true. He was going to marry the love of his life._

 

_Magnus stared at him with shining eyes as tears started to form behind his eyelids, at the thought that he was going to marry someone as kind, loving, caring, brave and strong as Alexander Gideon Lightwood. And Magnus couldn’t wait the day he would be able to call Alexander his, and to be finally able to belong to someone._

 

_Alec was still looking at him with a tender look and his wide grin, as if he was the answer to all his troubles, and Magnus couldn’t control it anymore, the urge to kiss him took over and he moved his hands behind Alec’s neck and pulled him forward, crashing their lips together._

 

_Alec made a surprised gasp, as their mouths came in contact, but immediately responded back by kissing Magnus, again and again. He took Magnus’ face between his hands and let his fingers caress the warlock’s skin, as they lips moved in synchronization._

 

_Kissing Magnus was like breathing for the first time after spending hours underwater. It was refreshing, unique, satisfying, and intense. Magnus’ lips moved accordingly to his, fitting his own perfectly. Magnus hands were holding the back of Alec’s neck, but moved down to his back, pushing him forward, almost craving for Alec’s touch. Alec didn’t complain. He moved his body forward, and melted against Magnus. Their chest were pressed together, and Magnus’ skin tingled with warmth and love as Alec’s arm encircled his waist, tugging him even closer, if it was even possible._

 

_For Magnus, kissing Alexander, was like finally finding something you have been looking for your whole life. It was like coming home. And every time Alec would kiss him, Magnus felt like finding his own home, envelopped in his arms and surrounded by his love._

 

_He didn’t know who pulled away first, but Magnus whined when Alec’s lips left his, and he opened his eyes, unaware that he had closed them in the first place, to see Alec look at him with happiness shining in his eyes, and his lips curved into a grin. He looked so happy, and relaxed, Magnus would never get used to seeing him like this, either._

 

‘‘ _I love you’’ whispered Alec, and kissed him again. His lips finding his, and kissing him, slowly and gently as if he was afraid to leave bruises. The kiss wasn’t rushed, nor deep and rough. It was slow, soft, gentle but passionate, long and affectionate, but mostly, it was just Alec’s lips brushing against his._

 

_Magnus closed his eyes and savoured the moment. He was feeling so light headed, happy and … at peace, in Alec’s arms, and he didn’t want it to stop. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, only wishing that he could freeze time, and live in this moment forever._

 

‘‘ _I love you’’ whispered Alec, again, his breath caressing Magnus’ lips, before softly kissing him again._

 

_Magnus sighed into their kiss, and shivered when Alec’s hand went behind his neck, and pulled him even closer than before._

_He opened his eyes when Alec pulled away, and stared into Alec’s eyes, which were already looking for his gaze. And by the way Alec was looking at him, he knew his glamour dropped again, and that his cat eyes were visible._

 

‘‘ _I love you too, Alexander’’ answered Magnus, his voice soft, whispering and looking at Alec, only hoping that his eyes and smile were able to show how he was feeling in the inside._

 

_Happy. Hopefull. Grateful. Overwhelmed._

 

_Loved._

 

_Alec only smiled back, his eyes boring into Magnus’ and Magnus couldn’t handle the love he saw in Alec’s eyes. It made him harder to breathe, overwhelmed by his emotions, as he realized, again, that he was lucky enough to be loved by someone as amazing and wonderful as Alec Lightwood._

 

_Magnus was never good with words. So he lunged forward, pulled Alec toward him, and crashed their lips together again, breathing in as Alec kissed him back with as much passion as he was._

_He lifted his hands from Alec’s back and his neck, to held his shadowhunter's face between his palms. Without even knowing how, he ended up on Alec’s lap, one of Alec’s arm circled around his hips, and the other resting against Magnus’ cheek._

 

_His skin was burning under Alec’s touches and everything around him faded away as his lips kept meeting Alec’s._

_Magnus pulled away for a millisecond to whisper ‘‘bedroom’’, and the next thing he knew he was being lifted up, as Alec stood up from the couch, holding both of Magnus’ legs which find their way around Alec’s hips. He let out a surprised gasp, which turned into giggles when Alec’s lips detached from his to let out a curse, as one of his leg hit the table placed a few meters away from the couch._

 

_Magnus lowered his head, shoulders shaking with laughter, eyes crinkling, and feeling the weight on his shoulders disappear as his whole being was surrounded by Alec's warmth and love. His lips found Alec's neck, and he left kisses against Alec's skin, eliciting soft moans from him, as one of Magnus' hands gripped Alec's hair, and the other rested againt the other side of his neck._

_He felt Alec's arms close around his waist, his fingers digging into the soft fabric of his robe, and into his skin, as his legs encircled Alec's hips._

 

_Another few seconds passed, and other curses left Alec's lips as his back hit the closed door of their bedroom, and Magnus' lowered his hand, turning the door's handle, and immediately resting it against the back of Alec's neck, as they entered their room, Magnus' lips never leaving the skin of Alec's neck._

_As soon as Magnus felt Alec's legs hit the end of their bed, he detached his lips from Alec's neck, drawing wimpers of complaints from Alec, and putting an end to them, as he brought their lips together again. Alec turned them around, and the next second, his back hit the soft matress of their bed, as his head rested against their golden pillows, Alec's weight at the top of him, his lips never leaving his._

 

_As Alec kept kissing him, his hands traveling under his robe, touching every part of his brown skin, making him shiver, Magnus couldn't help but to feel an unlimited amount of gratefulness and devotion for the man above him. As Alec's hands kept caressing his skin, Magnus couldn't help but to thank every Angels, and Gods, and every single thing in the universe, that helped him get back to Alexander._

 

_In Alec's arms, Magnus found love, a safe place, where he could lay down all his fears and insecurities and get nothing but love and comfort in return. In Alec's love, he had not only found out that he could love this man like he had never loved before, but he also found a way how to love himself. With every touch, kiss, words filled with love and adoration, Magnus had learned how to love some parts of himself that he thought he would never even like. His warlock mark, his cat eyes, his blood, his past … Alec loved all part of him. And that somehow, showed Magnus that he wasn't as unlovable as he thought he was. Alec's love saved him. Alec saved him._

 

_He had been in such a dark place, without even knowing, and meeting Alexander had brought a light he didn't knew he needed, not until the moment his eyes landed on Alec._

_When he had met him, Alexander was a mistery he was immediately attracted to. But with time, Magnus had learned that Alec had also been waiting for help, for someone to help him free himself._

 

_For Magnus, Alec had brought him love, safety, a pair of arms where he could feel himself belong._

_For Alec, Magnus had been the place where he had found acceptance, peace, a love he never thought he could have._

 

_They had saved each other._

 

_As Alec's hands travelled down on his chest, Alec's soft lips detached from his, leaving kisses and bites on his jaw, his ear lobe, and his neck, whispering ''I love you'' every second, everytime a kiss landed on his skin, Magnus couldn't help feel warmth blossom in his heart and his entired being, while he closed his eyes and whispered it back,_

 

_''I love you.''_

 

 

_**''For it was not into my ear you whispered,** _

_**but into my heart.** _

_**It was not my lips you kissed,** _

_**but my soul.''** _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thans for reading! <3


	5. I love you, and that's the beginning and end of everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am terribly late, but I am back :p   
> Chapter 5, here we go!

_**It was one spark,** _

_**and it was enough to make me fall in love with you.** _

 

_**-Sonya Chloé** _

 

 

Magnus caressed Alec’s hair with his fingers, as he laid asleep at his side .

 

Magnus still couldn't believe it was true. That he got to love Alexander Lightwood. That he got to marry him. That he was worth of being his _husband._ That he got to share the Lightwood name for the rest of his life.

 

His wedding ring shined under the sun's light, reminding him that this was indeed reality. His fingers moved down, to rest against Alec's cheek when he saw Alec's eyelids flutter open.

 

''Good morning, Alexander'' said Magnus, smiling at how Alec leaned into his touch, humming, his hand leaving the pillow he was gripping tightly, to lay it around Magnus' waist, as he moved closer to him.

 

''Morning'' said Alec, his eyes still closed, his fingers drawing circles on Magnus' hips, a tiny smile appearing on Alec's lips.

 

''Why are you smiling ?'' asked Magnus, in a whisper, his hand never leaving his cheek, his thumb caressing the skin underneath.

 

Magnus' breath stuttered, when Alec opened his eyes, to look at him, his eyes filled by nothing but love, making Magnus feel like he was staring into the ocean itself.

 

Alec didn't answer, he tightened his grip on Magnus' waist, and snuggled closer, their chest almost pressed against each other, tucking his head between Magnus' neck and shoulder, his lips caressing his skin, without kissing it.

 

He moved his hand from Alec's cheek, and travelled down to Alec's arm, his fingers dancing on Alec's soft skin. His eyes couldn't move away from the silver ring on his finger.

 

A small, honest, smile graced his lips, as he looked down to see Alec's other arm laying on the bed, between them, his own engagement ring shining with its own light. His eyes moved up to look at his engagement ring again. His heart fluttered and his breathed catched in his throat, as he realized that his whole dream was coming true.

 

It was utterly amazing, beautiful, but also completely terrifying.

 

Alec's fingers kept caressing Magnus' back, and Magnus melted against his touches. Magnus loved the way Alec touched him, whether it was with his lips or his fingers. As if every kisses and soft touches from Alec against his body revealed new secrets. Every part of skin had a different type of secrets, feelings and Alec's touches were the key to expose those deep secrets he didn't even know existed in the first place.

As if Magnus was a lock, filled with repressed desires, wishes, dreams, and hopes, and Alec was the key to free them all, to free _him_ from himself.

 

_**''You've unlocked something in me''** _

 

Magnus hadn't lied. Alec did unlock something in him. All those years of closing himself off from everyone and everything … Since the moment he had met Alec, he had knew that it was the time to put himself out there again. For Alec. For himself.

 

Loving Alexander Lightwood was an honor.

Being loved back by Alexander Lightwood, was a gift.

 

Resting his chin, against Alec's head, Magnus couldn't even wish to be anywhere else but here. Held by the arms of the person he loved the most, in a way he didn't know he could.

 

He was brought back from his thoughts, as Alec started to kiss his neck, his lips caressing the love bites he made last night. Smiling, Magnus tilted his head, to give him more space. Both of Alec's arms closed around his waist as he brought them closer, their bodies pressing together, skin against skin.

 

Magnus shivered, closing his eyes, as Alec's lips left his neck to bite his earlobe, and whisper an _''I love you''_ into his ear. He opened his eyes, when Alec moved his head back to look at him. Alec brought one of his hand to place it between the pillow and Magnus' cheek, his thumb caressing his warm skin. Their heads were close, and Magnus moved a little bit closer to caress Alec's nose with his own, his hand leaving Alec's waist and resting against Alec's cheek.

 

''I love you too'' whispered back Magnus, his lips caressing Alec's, in a soft touch, without kissing him.

 

He felt Alec's lips curve into a smile against his own, and moved back a little, to look at him, their eyes finding each other.

 

Alec's hair was a mess. His eyes were tired, yet shining with an unlimited amount of pure bliss, his soft lips turning up into a wide smile. He looked like an angel, shining under the sun's light, his eyes never leaving his, as his whole face brightened. His skin, mixed with the rays of sunshine, was glowing, making him shine in gold. He was breath-taking. Of course, Alec was always breath-taking, his beauty, his honesty, and his love, making Magnus fall in love with him over and over again. But there was something else about looking at Alec, still laying in bed, at his side, brightened by the sun. He was almost blinding, but Magnus couldn't stop staring at him.

 

He didn't know he was smiling back until Alec told him.

 

''Stop smiling at me like that'' said Alec, his smile never fading, his eyes crinkling and still looking at him.

 

''And why would I do that ?'' asked Magnus, still smiling, as he moved his arms to encircle them around Alec's neck, bringing them even closer.

 

Alec snorted, tightening his grip on Magnus' waist, as he moved closer, to cuddle him, resting his head on Magnus' shoulder, his lips kissing his shoulder and moving towards his neck.

 

Alexander was one of Magnus' greatest strenght, and his weakness. Especially his kisses. So it didn't surprise him, when blue sparkles came out of his fingers as he caressed Alec's back, his arms still encircled around his neck.

 

Alec gasped, melting against Magnus, and backed away from him, with a wide grin, as Magnus' arms moved away from his neck, his hands leaving Alec's back, to place them on Alec's cheeks.

 

''Sorry'' said Magnus, sheepishly, looking down, only for a second, because Alec lifted his chin up with his fingers, moving his hand to the back of his neck, to crash their lips together.

 

Magnus let out a surprised gasp, his eyes closing shut, as both of his hands cupped Alec's face, and brought him closer, to kiss him back deeper. Alec's kisses always took Magnus' breath away, in the most wonderful and beautiful way. The taste of his lips against his own had an explosive texture and Magnus always went for more.

 

The passionate kiss turned into a gentle, loving one, as Alec's lips only caressed his, a slight touch of lips here and there, leaving Magnus even more breathless. When Alec moved away, his lips detaching from his own, he didn't need to be told that his glamour was down, his cat eyes reflecting in Alec's gaze.

 

It amazed him. How much Alec could love him. How much he did love him, everything about him. Especially his warlock mark, which only used to terrify people. But now, as Alec stared at him with nothing but admiration, and love, looking into his eyes, with an awed expression, Magnus's heart soared high, fluttering and threathening to burst out of his ribcage.

 

He smiled at him, kindly, his fingers caressing the skin at the back of his neck, bringing their forehead together, as he pronounced his next words.

 

''I love you, Magnus. And I love your magic, every part of it. So don't hide it from me'' said Alec, his voice filled with warmth and love, and Magnus couldn't help but to fall in love a little bit more with Alec, than he already had.

 

How did he get this lucky ? To find a man, as loving and kind as Alexander Lightwood. He gazed at him, his cat eyes staring into the hazel one's of Alec, as he fingers caressed his cheek, smiling at him, hoping his gestures demonstrated and showed Alec how much this meant to him. How much Alec and his love meant to him.

 

So, closing his eyes, he called out to his magic. He let it flow through his being, poured every ounce of love he felt for Alexander into it : his gratitude, his feelings, his love and emotions. He focused on how Alec made him feel : loved, belonged, cherished, happy, content, complete … at peace, and he pushed all of it into his magic, and he opened his eyes again, to see small, shining, blue sparkles, escaping his fingers, which were still caressing Alec's cheek.

 

Alec was staring at him with wide, surprised eyes, as Magnus' magic flew out of his fingers and caressed his skin. He knew Alec wasn't scared, he didn't even flinch when his magic came in contact with his cheek. The blue, tiny, sparkles, danced at the top of fingers, while he kept caressing Alec. To Magnus' surprise, the blue, shining, sparkles made their way around his whole hand, as if his magic wanted, needed, to feel more of Alexander. A small smile graced his lips, as he felt his magic flutter inside of him, with how happy and content it felt. It was almost like it had found its own home.

 

Alec had his eyes still open, first looking at Magnus curiously, but then his eyes widened, as realization drawned upon him. And with a wide smile, and literal happiness glowing on his face, he whispered, awe-strucked,

 

''It's _you_ ''

 

Magnus smiled back at him, his cat eyes shining on their own, tears forming behind his eyelids because of how emotional and … happy he was feeling.

 

''Something like that'' answered Magnus, his smile widening as Alec looked at him as he was looking up to the stars. Magnus loved it when Alec looks at him in this way, his hazel eyes boring into his own soul, as if he was staring into his true self. No one had ever looked at him this way. And Magnus prayed to Lilith and the Angels, that Alec would never stop looking at him like this.

 

''It feels...'' trailed off Alec, his lips turning into an adorable grimace, frowning, his eyes staring down at the blue sparks caressing his cheek.

 

''Too much ?'' asked Magnus, his hand already backing away from Alec's skin, mentally kicking himself. Of course it would be too much, thought Magnus, his magic always was, his heart twisting painfully in his chest. The sting disappeared as soon as it came, when Alec grabbed his wrist, the second Magnus' hand left his cheek.

 

''Like I said, you're never too much. And your magic definetely isn't.'' answered Alec, his voice determined, his eyes focused on Magnus, looking at him the same way he had when he first discovered his warlock mark, when he had held Magnus' face in his palm, comforting, when he had told Alec about the terrible things his magic had done.

 

_**''Magnus they're beautiful, you're beautiful''** _

_**''There is nothing ugly about you''** _

 

''It's beautiful'' said Alec, looking at Magnus' hand which he was holding, his fingers wrapped around his wrist, as Magnus' fingers shined with his magic, the blue smoke and sparks surrounding his whole hand, and dancing on the tip of his fingers.

 

''It is ?'' asked Magnus, his voice wavering a little, swallowing down his threathening emotions, keeping his tears out, feeling awfully overwhelmed by the love Alec's gentle and kind eyes held.

 

''Of course'' replied Alec, almost immediately, his eyes moving from his hand to lock with Magnus'. His fingers caressed his wrist, softly and gently, avoiding touching his magic for a few seconds. Magnus' eyes widened when Alec's fingers went up, leaving his wrist, approaching his fingers to his hand, which was engulfed with his magic, but paused, his fingers so close to touch but yet so far from the blue sparks.

 

''Can I ?'' asked Alec, with a low voice, whispering, his fingers hesitating, as if he was going to come in contact with something valuable, priceless. He was looking at his magic with a look of pure adoration, disbelief and awe, with a wide smile, his entire face lighting up, not only by his magic dancing in front of him, but also by how much love he was radiating.

 

Alec was looking at his magic the exact same way he looked at him, with the same smile, and eyes, full of love and admiration. Not only Alec had won his heart and soul by staring into them, but now, Magnus felt like his own magic was falling under Alexander's spell.

 

It was funny wasn't it ? Magnus was the warlock, he was the one creating spells. But at this moment, he felt like Alec was the one who performed one, pulling Magnus, his magic, his entire being toward him and under his spell. Magnus' entire life force wanted to surrender under Alec's enchantment.

Magnus was the warlock, but Alec was the one doing the magic.

 

Magnus had always been careful with his magic, his powers. Hidding it from his lovers had been something Magnus had don e for a while. It had driven some people away. And for some, it had been just a way of entertainment. No one had never looked at his magic the way Alexander did.

Magnus had forced his magic under his control so it wouldn't make itself seen when it wasn't necessary. And his magic obeyed willingly. Because Magnus was linked, joined, with his magic, his own soul and body was part of it, and his magic was a part of him. His magic felt Magnus' feelings, and thoughts, it had felt, for so long, unloved, overlooked, ignored, and unwanted. Magnus would often lose control, his magic manifesting itself with red sparkles when he was enraged, and blue shining color when he was beyond happy and excited.

 

Some of his lovers didn't mind, but the rest of them... They had left a mark. Not only on Magnus' heart and confidence, but on his magic too. And sometimes, Magnus thought his magic had been the one which suffered the most, and not Magnus himself. And there was other times where he would feel his magic's pain, and that had always been unbearable.

 

For some, his magic might be seen as a part of him. And it was. But it also was another whole being. His magic may not be human, but it was alive. And just like Magnus, it had been hurted, rejected, with heartbreaks and failed relationships. As Magnus put new walls around his broken heart, after every disappointment and heartbreaks, his magic had shut away too. It had learned to control itself, only making itself seen when Magnus asked for it. Hiding from people's sight, their hate, and wicked curiousness, but also from his partners and lovers, had been able to prevent people to look at both of them with fear and disgust. But of course, it hadn't been enough.

 

Hiding his magic hadn't stop some of them from walking away from him. One way or another, they had always found a reason to leave Magnus behind, alone, with his heart shattered in pieces. His past, his family, his true nature, his demon blood, his uncontrollable power, his feelings, emotions, his hopes and dreams, and himself. They always had been too much. There was always something which pushed them away, hurting him and making him hollow and empty all over again, again and again, until Magnus had become used to the pain, and felt only numbness. His magic and himself, had lost hope that one day they'd find their place where they would belong. That they would find someone to love the both of them, completely.

 

With time, his magic and himself had gotten used to hide away from partners and lovers.

 

But of course, Alexander wasn't the same. He was different, for the only reason... no, Alec was different for so many reasons. He was selfless, the kindest, strongest and the most intriguing person Magnus had ever met. He was full of suprises. He was different in so many good ways. But he was also different in the way he made Magnus feel loved, wholeheartedly.

 

And Magnus didn't want to hide from Alec, not anymore, not after everything they had been through. He didn't want to hide his past from him, neither his scars, and definetely not his magic. He wanted Alec to know him, all of him, including his magic. Not only because he trusted Alec, but also because Magnus could feel how much his magic itself craved for Alec's love and attention. Around Alexander, his magic felt loved, adored, needed, and most importantly, wanted.

 

Safe.

 

Just as much as Magnus himself felt cared around Alec. It had surprised Magnus at first, when he had felt his magic vibrated under his skin, excited and thrilled, craving for Alec's touches, almost out of control. And it had only gotten worse, for the better, after Alec discovered his cat eyes. He had felt his magic jump inside his chest, happily, relieved and not scared anymore, in a new sand surprising way it never had before. It had been in that moment that Magnus realized : Alec was going to be the love of his life, not because of how much Magnus loved him, but because of the way Alexander loved Magnus.

 

Since that night, his magic constantly ached to be touched by Alec, desperatly.

 

Whenever Magnus used his magic to heal Alec, from little cuts to huge demons wounds, he had felt his magic slip from his fingers, hurrying to take Alec's pain away. And when it had came to use his magic to dress Alec, comb his hair, or clean him demonic ichor, there had alwyas been a few seconds, where his magic would linger on Alec's skin, wanting more, needed to be against his touch.

 

Magnus trusted Alexander, with his past, his feelings, fear and hopes. And so did his magic.

 

Magnus had been silent for more than a minute, lost in thoughts, unaware of the fact that Alec was still staring at him. The touch of Alec's fingers on his wrist brought Magnus back from his thoughts. He was looking at Magnus with a small, kind smile, his eyes asking for his permission. Magnus wasn't even surprised, when the word left his mouth, as a whisper, his magic sparkling against his fingers, as if it heard Alec's question, aching to feel Alec's touch.

 

''Yes.''

 

Alec smiled warmly at him, his eyes shining kindly, and he moved up his fingers, grazing against his magic, right at the extremity of it. He hesitated first, as if he was afraid of hurting him, but he saw Magnus' encouraging smile, then, the tip of Alec's fingers caressed the sparkles of his magic, carefully, and gently.

 

It felt incredible.

 

 

 

**_‘‘I will love you_ **

**_as long as the sun_ **

**_burns in the sky,_ **

**_as long as the moon_ **

**_shines its light_ **

**_into the dark night_ **

**_until the raging_ **

**_blue oceans become_ **

**_calm and run dry._ **

**_I will love you until the end of time.’’_ **

 

**_-Christy Ann Martine._ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, people!


	6. Me and you, forever.

**_''Just when I think_ **

**_that it is impossible for me_ **

**_to love you more,_ **

**_you prove me wrong.''_ **

 

With the tip of his fingers, Alec caressed the middle of Magnus' palm first, slowly, and gently, with a wide smile on his face, his eyes full of wonder and awe. Magnus' magic was tingling all over him, more than happy to be able to feel Alec's touch, and love on its own. The blue sparkles around his hands trembled, and shined with more intensity, then moved, circling Alec's own fingers.

 

Alec gasped, eyes wide open, his mouth open in shock, and for a second Magnus was worried that he crossed the line, but then Alec giggled.

 

''Did you do that ??'' exclaimed Alec, unconsciously moving closer to Magnus, his fingers still touching Magnus' palm, a little less hesitant, his eyes fixed on Magnus, waiting for his answer.

 

''No'' answered Magnus, smiling, feeling his magic move around both of their fingers, envelopping them with blue sparkles, with a tiny amount of gold, bringing Alec's fingers closer to Magnus' palm.

 

Magnus chuckled.

 

''It missed you'' said Magnus, his words out of his mouth before he had a second to think about it, because that was certainly a weird thing to say, to anyone. Before he could take it back and apologize, the way Alec looked at him stopped him. His mouth was set in a hard line, his lips pressed together, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears as he swallowed down before answering,

 

''I missed it too. So much.'' whispered Alec, his eyes going back to Magnus' palm, at the sparkles surrounding his hand.

 

''I am sorry you had to lose it because of me, to save Jace'' said Alec, dropping his eyes, his fingers still in contact with his magic.

 

''Alexander, you already apologized for it. And I told you. It wasn't your fault.'' replied Magnus, his voice going softer, to reassure Alexander, his heart aching because of the pain and guil present in Alec's gaze.

 

''I know, but-''

 

Before Alec could continue his sentence, Magnus' magic reacted. It trembled against Magnus' hand and Alec's fingers, the blue and golden sparkles growing bigger and bigger. But it felt different. It wasn't excited anymore, Magnus felt as if it was … sad, but determined. Magnus smiled softly when he recognized what his magic was doing. It was comforting Alec, and more than that, it was forgiving him.

And Alec must have felt it too, as his eyes closed, swallowing again, as he took a deep, long breath. He opened his eyes again, finding Magnus' own eyes, their gaze locked, as both of them stared into each other, completely silent for a few seconds, before Magnus spoke.

 

''See, there is no need for apologizes anymore.'' said Magnus, moving his own hand down, as both of their fingers came in contact. Alec grasped his hand, his fingers sliding dowing down between Magnus', enterwining their fingers together, his magic caressing Alec's whole hand. Magnus' breath stuttered when Alec grinned widely.

 

And his magic was more than happy, it was over the moon. Keeping their hands grasped together, as the blue sparkles surrounded them, Alec moved closer, his other arm placed between the bed and Magnus' hip, circling his waist. Alec brought their forehead together, and breathed in, while Magnus closed his eyes.

 

''I love you'' whispered Alec, already staring down at Magnus, when he opened his eyes to look at Alec.

 

''I love you too, darling.'' whispered back Magnus, his smile widening when he noticed the blush on Alec's cheeks and his shy smile, after hearing the endearing term.

 

Both of them looked away from each other when his magic made a sudden movement, more blue smoke and sparkles surrounding Alec's hand, making Alec laugh and Magnus chuckle.

 

''Well someone is jealous'' grumbled Magnus, looking pointedly at their joined hands, circled by his magic. Magnus was almost, no, he was definitely sure that his magic was making fun of him, by surrounding Alec's hand a little tighter.

 

Alec chucked and held Magnus' hand, bringing Magnus closer by holding him by his waist.

 

''It doesn't have to be'' whispered Alec, smiling and dropping a kiss on Magnus' nose, holding Magnus' hand in his own a little bit tighter.

 

''I did tell you that I love every part of you didn't I ?'' asked Alec, gazing at him with his gentle and kind eyes, smiling softly, as his fingers moved to caress Magnus' magic and the other hand resting against his back, fingers tracing circles on his skin.

 

Magnus froze, and his magic vibrated under Alec's careful and loving touches even more, both of them understanding what Alec said without actually saying it. Magnus kept staring into Alec's eyes, finding nothing but honesty and endless love, and he felt all the air disappear from his lungs, once again, making his breath stutter and his heart beat even faster against his chest. His heart soared high and his magic jumped in surprised, the sparkles around their hands glowing brighter, when Alec, without an ounce of hesitation or wondering he might get hurt, lowered his head, brought their joined hands, and dropped a kiss on his fingers, his lips caressing the shining sparkles. And Alec laughed in delight, when his magic reached out to caress Alec's cheek.

His laughter brought Magnus back from his thoughts, looking at his magic dancing around his fingers, while Alec simply stared at it, with a wide smile and a loving gaze.

Magnus smiled, half amused and half surprised, feeling his magic's happiness, and overwhelming emotions when Alec let his fingers caress Magnus' hand.

 

''Sometimes, I think it loves you more than I do'' said Magnus, smiling when Alec's eyes widened, in surprise and shock. Then, his eyes softened, as a smile graced his lips, his fingers caressing Magnus', looking at him with bright eyes.

 

''Yeah ?'' asked Alec, his smile widening, his eyes never leaving Magnus', as Magnus chuckled, noticing how the shadowhunter's face lightened at the thought of his magic liking Alec.

 

''Yeah, it definitely does.'' replied Magnus, smiling softly, looking between Alec and their hands, folded together, a feeling of love and safety washing over him.

 

''I love it too.'' said Alec, now looking at their hands, more specifically at Magnus' magic, smiling widely as the sparks around their hands brightened. Magnus felt his heart beat faster, butterflies in his stomach making him feel like he was flying high in the sky, surrounded by clouds. He felt his magic tremble inside of him, feeling more than happiness and love, it felt acceptance. After all the centuries roaming around the Earth, searching for someone to belong to, for his magic to feel nothing but love from the people he was with. And with Alexander, Magnus now has everything.

 

Magnus was more than happy, he felt complete.

 

He felt Alec's hand holding his, as his other one came to rest against his cheek. Magnus swallowed down, trying to keep his tears away as emotions took over him, while Alec looked at him, smiling softly at him, as his thumb caressed his cheek.

 

''You're okay ?'' asked Alec, frowning a little, the tip of his fingers caressing Magnus' hair.

 

_Oh, Alec._

 

''Alexander … I am more than okay.'' said Magnus, moving his hand to lay it over Alec's, wich was still against his cheek.

 

''You seem, I don't know, tense or something.''

 

''No, not tense, just … thinking.'' replied Magnus, letting his fingers caress Alec's hand.

 

''About ?''

 

''About finally belonging, after all these years of wandering around feeling lost and unwanted.'' answered Magnus, feeling the grip around his hand tighten, as his thumb kept caressing Magnus' cheek.

 

''Well, you're more than wanted and loved now, by everyone.'' said Alec, smiling at him. Magnus grinned, and moved closer to Alec,

 

''I know, but I wasn't talking about everyone, I was talking about you.'' said Magnus, whispering, as he moved his face to bump his nose against Alec's, as his hand left Alec's, to rest against the back of Alec's neck.

 

''Me ? I didn't do anything.'' said Alec, smiling and shrugging, but Magnus knew that Alec knows what he was talking about, and rolled his eyes .

 

''Shut up'' said Magnus, his smile widening as Alec giggled, scooting closer, his other arm closing around Magnus' waist to keep him against him.

 

Then they kissed. Both smiling, lips against lips, as everything around them faded away.

 

Alec was more than happy. Of course, the Shadow World was still in danger, but he felt the safest lying next to Magnus, in the arms of the man he loved the most. He sighed into their kiss, felt Magnus' hands touch the skin behind his neck, and his back, as shivers went through him when the warlock's magic tingled against his skin. He felt Magnus melt against him, and smile, by the way his lips moved against his. Alec wanted nothing more than to stay here, in Magnus' loft, in their home, on their bed, in Magnus' arms, forever.

 

They kept kissing for another few seconds, before they separated, but Alec didn't move away. He moved his lips to Magnus' jaw, feeling Magnus chuckle, then gasp, when Alec moved and placed himself on top of Magnus, pinning Magnus on their bed. He dropped a gentle kiss on Magnus' cheek, then drew back to look at Magnus.

 

Magnus was smiling at him already, his eyes shining with pure love, his face glowing by the morning light. He moved his hand away from the back of Alec's neck, and let his fingers linger on Alec's face, caressing the side of his face, going from his forehead, to his cheek, his jaw, and his lips.

 

Alec smiled softly when he felt the tip of Magnus' fingers caressing his lips, gently, as Magnus' eyes followed. Alec didn't notice it before, but there were less blue sparks around Magnus' hands than a few minutes ago. Alec almost complained. Almost.

 

''You miss it already'' said Magnus, smirking up at Alec, his eyes crinkling, as the last sparkles of his magic disappeared.

 

''… No I don't'' muttered Alec, moving his eyes from Magnus' gaze, and looking at one of Magnus' hand, which was resting against the mattress, right next to his pillow.

 

''You do'' said Magnus, chuckling, teasing, yet Alec couldn't help but to notice a bit of disbelief and surprise in his voice.

 

''So what if I do ?'' asked Alec, looking back into Magnus' eyes, biting his lips and feeling his heart race when Magnus smiled widely.

 

''Nothing'' whispered Magnus, his eyes never moving from Alec's gaze, his fingers still caressing Alec's cheek.

 

Alec moved his head to the side, his lips kissing Magnus' palm, as he brought one of his hand to rest it against the back of Magnus' hand. Then, he looked back at Magnus, smiling kindly, his hand never leaving Magnus', and bent down to kiss him, slowly, and gently. He drew back a few seconds later, smirking, his heart missing a beat, when Magnus chased after his lips, then his smile softened when his eyes caught the silver engagement ring on Magnus' finger, on the hand resting on the mattress, and next to the pillow. Alec let go the back of Magnus' hand, and let the palm of his hand rest against Magnus' other hand. Both of their engagement rings touching, fingers enterwining. Alec looked down on their hands for a few seconds, then let his fingers move against Magnus' own fingers, and his open palm, before looking back at Magnus, to gaze into his golden-brown eyes, which never stopped admiring Alec's face.

 

''I just... like the way your magic move around your fingers, it's mesmerizing.'' whispered Alec, his fingers still caressing Magnus' hand, gently.

 

''Yeah ?'' asked Magnus, smiling up at Alec, moving his fingers against Alec's.

 

''Yeah... It's beautiful when you look at it very closely. The sparkl- The spark !'' exclaimed suddenly Alec, looking at Magnus with wide eyes. He moved away from Magnus, his hand leaving Magnus', to sit up on the bed, Magnus following him, surprised by the sudden change of conversation.

 

''Alexander, are you okay ?'' asked Magnus, now sitting next to Alec, moving his hand to Alec's shoulder, and he almost drew back as Alec flinched, and looked at him with an anxious and scared expression. Well, now Magnus was worried.

 

''What is it ? Alec, talk to me.'' said Magnus, his hand resting on Alec's shoulder, his fingers caressing his boyfriend's skin, furrowing his eyebrows when he felt Alec tense next to him.

 

''The... The spark...Stupid, stupid, stupid !'' said Alec, stuttering the first words but whispering the last one to himself but Magnus heard him. Alec was looking down at his lap, his hands clasped together, fingers digging into his skin. He was biting down on his lip, and Magnus immediately knew that he was stressed and thinking too much.

 

''Hey'' whispered Magnus, getting closer to Alec, his other hand moving to rest on top of Alec's, his fingers tracing slow patterns on his skin, trying to calm him down.

 

He felt Alec relax at his gentle touch, and Magnus moved his head forward, putting his chin on top of Alec's shoulder, his forehead touching the side of Alec's face, his nose caressing Alec's cheek. He felt Alec sigh, his hands closing around Magnus', and Magnus smiled, when Alec moved his head, and leaned into his touch and caress.

 

''I... I never apologized'' said Alec, after a few minutes of silence where both of them did nothing but find comfort in each other.

 

''You already apologized for a lot of things, since last night Alexander.'' replied Magnus, grasping Alec's hand, while his other hand rested still on his shoulder, and kissing softly Alec's cheek, smiling when Alec's lips moved to form a tiny smile of his own.

 

''Yeah... But I didn't apologize for the spark thing.'' said Alec, finally looking up to look at Magnus, and Magnus swallowed down, noticing the sadness in the hazel eyes of the man he loved.

 

''The what ?'' asked Magnus, confused.

 

Alec sighed, and kicked himself mentally, he should have done this the moment they came back from Edom. But he had to do it now. He had to clear things up. He knew that Magnus understands why he broke up with him. But the things he had said to him … Even if Alec wanted to, he was never going to get the sentences out of his head anytime soon. They were going to keep ringing in his head, reminding his heart how he pushed himself away from Magnus, while all he had wanted was to be at his side.

 

He took a deep breath, clearing his mind, and focused on Magnus. He noticed how worried Magnus was, his golden-brown eyes filled with concern, and Alec wanted to take him in his arms, and keep him in his protective embrace forever.

 

''I … Uh... You know, when... I broke up with you ?'' asked Alec, biting his lips, looking uncertainly at Magnus, holding Magnus' hands a little bit firmly.

 

''Yes, I do. And Alec, you already apologized for-'' started to say Magnus, but was interrupted by Alec, who shook his head and smiled bitterly.

 

''I apologized for breaking your heart, not for the things I said to you while doing it.'' said Alec, his heart clenching painfully when he noticed the pain taking place on Magnus' face and into his eyes, once again. He saw Magnus looking away, but the way his eyes shone with unshed tears didn't go unotice by Alec. And neither did the way Magnus held his hand with more strenght. Magnus closed his eyes for a few seconds, swallowed, then looked back at Alec, with a smile. But Alec knew, it was a fake one, the one he always uses to hide the pain and suffering he was going through because he didn't want to burden anyone. Alec knew, that behind this smile, were hidden all his insecurities and fears, and the pain he had felt when Alec had said his words to him. And Alec wanted them gone, this fear, pain, making Magnus seem as he was carrying the whole universe on his shoulder. He needed to take away his pain, and hurt, and turn them into belief and love.

 

Alec noticed how Magnus struggled to find his words, by the way he was opening his mouth, and closing it, with no words coming out of his mouth. He also noticed the frustration and helplessness. So he took his chance.

 

''When I said those things to you … It hurted me in a way you could ever imagine. I … I knew that if I don't break up with you, Asmodeus would never give your magic back. So... I said the things which I knew would hurt you … break you.''

 

''Alec...''

 

''Just let me say this, okay ? I need you to know-''

 

''I know, I do.''

 

''Maybe. But … I need to say it.''

 

A few seconds of silence passed, and Magnus nodded slowly, letting Alec know that he was ready to listen.

 

''I said that I needed a break from you, while I wanted to stay with you, by your side, for the rest of my life. I wanted to tell you that I would never walk away from you, that I would help you in every situation, being your anchor. I wanted … I wanted to help you, I wanted you to feel loved and wanted, even if you didn't feel it that way anymore after losing your magic. I was selfish-''

 

''Alec...''

 

''No, I was. I was thinking how to make the situation bearable for you, I wanted to help you so could move on. I should have known how you were truly feeling, how … lifeless you were feeling. I should have looked for a way to bring your magic back into your life. And when you broke down in my arms that night … I knew I had to do something. So when I found a way … When Asmodeus told me that I had to break up with you in order to get your magic back, for a second, I hesitated. Only for a second, and after that second everything you said to me came back to me. You telling me that you would always feel empty and alone without your magic for the rest of your life, that, that feeling would never go away. I meant what I said to you that night, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy... And it took me a while, but I knew that you wouldn't be happy without your magic. And I just wanted to bring back happiness in your life again, even if it meant that I wouldn't be part of it anymore.''

 

Tears started to appear in Alec's eyes and a few fell down from Magnus' own eyes, even if he tried to keep them away. When Alec had ended their relationship, it had broken Magnus. Even if he knew the reason why Alec had done it, it had left scars. Scars, which would soon go away, but the way he had felt when Alec left him... It had been awful, and unbearable. He had felt as if his heart was literally ripped in half. Listening to Alec telling how he had felt while doing it was even worse. Magnus knew how it feels like, to leave the person you love the most for their own good.

 

''Everything I said to you... was not true. Magnus, it would never be true. You came into my life while I was feeling more than alone, and lost, and you brought with you everything that I ever dreamed of, happiness, love and family.''

 

Alec moved his hand, to lay it on Magnus' cheek, wiping away the tears rolling down from his eyes. Magnus smiled, feeling Alec's soft touch against him, and leaned down into it, dropping a kiss on Alec's palm, as he brought up his own hand to rest on top of Alec's.

 

''When I told you that the spark, the one I fell in love with was gone... I knew it would break you, because it broke me. I want... I need you to know that I didn't mean it and-''

 

''Alexander, I know that now, I promise.'' said Magnus, with a tremor in his voice, unable to listen how Alec's own voice was shaking, and see tears finally rolling down on his cheeks. But Alec didn't pay attention to what Magnus said, and kept going.

 

''- I know, I know how deeply that hurt you after I said a only a few days before that with or without magic, you remained magical and full of light, because you were you. And I meant it. You are … You are the spark I fell in love with. Ever since the first time we met, I knew you would mean something to me in a way no one ever did. And with time, I figured that, that I couldn't live without you. And when I broke up with you, I felt a part me die while looking at your heartbroken face... I don't think I will ever forget it. So, I need you to know, I need you to believe me.''

 

Alec cupped Magnus' face with both of his palms, the tip of his fingers caressing Magnus' hair, bringing their forhead together,

 

''I would never fall out of love for you.

I promise you, Magnus.''

 

Alec's voice trembled, as he made his promise to his fiance, swallowing down the emotions which threathened to spill out of him. Magnus released a choked out sob, shutting his eyes close, clinging into Alec, as he pulled him against him, wrapping his arms around the nephilim, feeling strong arms holding him.

 

Alec held him, one hand resting at the side of Magnus' hip, while the other hand caressed Magnus' head, confortably and reassuringly, whispering sweet words, apologies and promises to his ear.

 

''I love you.''

 

''I am so sorry, for everything.''

 

''I will never hurt you again.''

 

''Please forgive me.''

 

''I will never ever do anything to make you doubt my love for you again, I promise.''

 

With every word, Magnus felt every fear, and doubt leave his mind once again, all it took was Alec's promises. He felt Alec tremble against him, all the while whispering into his ear, and Magnus held him closer, his body fitting perfectly against Alec's. And with every promise, Magnus fell a little bit more in love with Alexander.

 

''Alexander...'' whispered back, Magnus, stopping midway, not knowing what to say, and how to express into words what he was feeling. He was feeling too much. Like he always did, whenever Alec was around, with him.

 

'' I don't ever want to break your heart.'' said Alec, his voice only above a whisper, hiding his face into Magnus' neck, feeling Magnus' hands caressing his back confortingly.

 

Magnus let his fingers roam on Alec's back, and in his hair, without saying anything, as Alec mumbled apologizes and promises, his shoulders shaking because of his heart-wrenching sob he let out, cutting straight into Magnus' heart.

A few more minutes passed, and Alec kept clinging to him as if he was his lifeline, now dropping soft kisses against his neck and shoulder, making Magnus smile softly. Then he pulled back. But they stayed close, and Magnus let his forehead rest against Alec's, as he moved both of his hands to wipe away Alec's tears, who smiled back at him, sniffling. Alec brought his own hands close to him, to rest his palms against his cheeks, and used his thumbs to clean his tears away, all the while looking into his eyes.

 

''I-''

 

''Alexander, stop apologizing.'' interrupted Magnus, chuckling, leaning into his palms, seeking love and confort, caressing Alec's cheeks at the same time.

 

''But you-''

 

''I know, Alexander, I promise. And … I forgive you, alright ? You don't have to feel guitly about this anymore, it wasn't your fault, it was... it was Asmodeus, and I made him pay for it, so we're alright, okay ? We are.''

 

Alec sighed, relieved, feeling all the tension, guilt and worry disappear from his mind, as he closed his eyes, and held Magnus with a little more strenght. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes, and pulled away, only a little. His eyes caught his silver ring against Magnus' cheek, and he felt his heart warming up, beating a little faster because of all the love he was feeling for this man, and from him. He felt the engraved words against his wedding finger, which were forever craved on both of their rings, reminding him how real this was.

''We are.'' repeated Alec, his eyes gazing at his engagement ring for a few seconds, before looking back at Magnus, who was smiling back at him, his eyes stealing a look on his own engagement ring only for a second, to gaze back at Alec, lovingly, with a lovestruck look, his eyes shining with the purest form of love. 

Alec stared into Magnus' eyes and Magnus stared back at him, both of them lost in their moment, caught in love and happiness, cutting out the rest of the world, as they both lost themselves in their own little world filled with nothing but hopes and dreams for the future, their future.

The peaceful moment was broken when Alec yawned, closing his eyes, with a smile, and reopening them see to Magnus chuckle and patting his cheek, gently.

 

''Why don't you go back to bed for a few more minutes ?'' asked Magnus, smiling softly at Alec, who yawned again, and sighed tiredly.

 

''Without you ?'' asked Alec, with a pout, his hand holding Magnus', making Magus' heart miss a beat, because of how adorable he was looking, with his messy hair and tired, yet shining eyes.

 

''I have to... want to do something first. It's a surprise.'' replied Magnus,

 

''A surprise ? What kind of surprise ?'' pearked up Alec, his eyes growing wide, excited, while his smile grew.

 

''It wouldn't be a surprise if I tell you now, would it ?''

 

''But-''

 

''No buts, you go back to sleep for another hour or so, you're tired. And I will wake you up, with breakfast, and the surprise.'' answered Magnus, winking at Alec, who smiled softly, then fell back on the bed, sighing peacefully, but still holding Magnus' hand in his own, and holding it with more strenght when Magnus tried to take his hand back.

 

''Alexander, let go.'' said Magnus, smiling down at Alec, who closed his eyes, with a content and happy smile, and rested his head confortably against the pillow.

 

''Stay with me for a while, you know I can't sleep when you're not with me.'' muttered Alec, his eyes still closed, with a soft smile, then pulled at Magnus' hand, making him fall at Alec's side on their bed, and Magnus laid next to him without any complaints.

 

''Just for a few minutes ?'' asked Alec, snuggling closer to Magnus. 

 

''Okay.'' simply replied Magnus, smiling, staring at Alec, then smiled even more when Alec pulled his hand once more and placed it on his chest, right above his heart.

 

Magnus spend a few more minutes next to Alec, watching him fall asleep, letting his fingers caress Alec's. Then kissing Alec's forehead, soflty, he took his hand back and got out of bed.

Magnus still couldn't believe it was true. That he get to love Alexander Lightwood. That he get to marry him. That he was worth of being his husband. That he get to share the Lightwood name for the rest of his life. Magnus had lived during centuries. But he had never felt this way before. 

Happy. 

Content.

So wholeheartedly loved.

 

And with Alexander's name tied to his, forever, he felt belonged. 

Complete.

 

Magnus silently closed their bedroom door, and walked away with one thought in his mind.

_It was time to make wedding invitations, for tomorrow._

Why wait another day ?

 

 

_**''If I know what love is, it is because of you.''** _

_**\- Hermann Hesse.** _

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated ! Thank you for reading !


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